Tuesday, January 31, 2012

How I Built a Relationship With My Son After Becoming Ex Homosexual

I think about when I first chose to follow my same sex attraction and became a homosexual. I remember my son was only 2 1/2 years when I starting meeting women. I was only 23 years old and was just on a road to fulfill my own desires after being hurt my the break up with his father. The break up was really just an excuse to pursue these feelings I had from childhood.

So, as I went on living my new life, I think back about how I never gave a thought about what this lifestyle would do to a baby. Well, let me tell the real truth. I DID have thoughts and some guilt but not enough to stop doing what I wanted to do. It  kind of makes me wonder why I never considered his childhood or his feelings about what life I was living. I used to have alot of guilt about it after the fact but I tried to maintain a close relationship with him.

I remember how I allowed my son to have to 'adjust' to my lifestyle as his family life. Essentially, that is just what it is. It's kind of strange to think of it but he grew up in a homosexual household and I never cared enough to not distort his life. Those are some real teachable moments that I can think back on and sometimes I still ask God for forgiveness.

But thank God that I was delivered from homosexuality while he was still young enough to get to know the real me that God wanted him to see. I remember talking with him often about how things affected him when he was only 8 and 9 years old. We'd talk about sex and God and how He really wanted us to live. I apologized to him for exposing him to such a life and he forgave me. Kids understand a lot more than what we think and I knew this. I found it necessary to do so because even though my 'gayness' was my lifestyle, I tried to build a good relationship with my son while he was growing up. I remember not having such a relationship with my parents, so all I had was my son and I couldn't ruin what God had given me. I would like to believe he saw what Jesus had done for me and he has respected me all of these years because I was true to God's word. God had done a mighty work in me and my son saw first hand what God can do.

As he is now a young adult, we still talk from time to time about how life was and he understands more about how people get into the life than most young adults would think. I do believe my life change was a testimony for him to ultimately live for Christ wholeheartedly.

So if you have children and are getting out of the lifestyle, talk with them now about it. You can help change how they may see the gay lifestyle and keep them from falling into it. They will appreciate your honesty, your tears and your concern for their lives. 

Just imagine: your testimony can be for your kids and they will know first hand that God can do anything!!

God bless!


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