What is Same Sex Attraction?

What is Same Sex Attraction?


For those who are confused or have questions, this is a good start at finding solutions on how to face the issue head on and find ways to dissolve same sex attraction.


We found great definitions from professionals at samesexattraction.org. They have laid out what is a clear understanding of the topic.

Same-sex attraction includes erotic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors directed toward the same gender. A person who experiences same-sex attraction may experience emotional and sexual feelings or attractions, and may or may not engage in sexual behavior. Same-sex attraction cannot be identified simply by the presence or absence of outward sexual behavior.

So, as you can see, same sex attraction has nothing to do with having sex per se but an attraction to the same sex. There are feelings and emotions that are attached to the attraction to the same gender but sexual behavior has not be established or explored.


Here's more info on the subject:

Emotional and social interests in individuals of the same gender are healthy as long as they are not excessive and do not develop a sexual or erotic dimension. When same-gender interests become extreme and are eroticized, they become same-sex attraction (also known as same-gender attraction or homosexuality).

Same sex attraction can be a good and healthy thing when one desires to be close to individuals of the same gender; as long as it does not cross any boundaries of an excessive and unhealthy attraction. We all need healthy relationships with members of the same gender because we communicate better socially with them and ourselves.

Here's more:

Same-sex attraction is an intense interest in others of the same gender. This interest may include desires for their attention, friendship, intimacy, or a fascination with their bodies and other gender traits. It may also include erotic thoughts, feelings, and behaviors directed toward the same gender.

A person who experiences same-sex attraction may experience one or more of the following:

• Intense attractions toward people of the same gender. (These feelings may or may not be sexual or erotic.)
• Intense emotional involvement with people of the same gender.
• Sexual behavior. (The presence or absence of homosexual behavior does not determine whether someone experiences same-sex attraction–it cannot be identified simply by the presence or absence of outward sexual behavior.)

Same Sex Attraction can cross boundaries from seeking attention and friendship to what becomes homosexual feelings. This can lead into the physical act of homosexuality as one may seek a sexual attachment to the same sex and sexual activity.



 Tags: born gay, same sex attraction, homosexuality, god's image, psalm 139:14, genesis 1:27,  created homosexual, created gay, created lesbian, ex gay gods way, true ex gay talk, t.marie, dissolve homosexuality, out of homosexuality, homosexual marriages, homosexual rights, gay marriages, gay rights, ex gay talk, gay christians, christian gays, gay and christian

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Should Parents Discourage Opposite Gender Tendencies from Their Children?

Should Parents Discourage  Opposite Gender Tendencies from Their Children?

Originally posted on May 26, 2011


There are many families that deal with this issue and it is a real issue that many do not know how to handle. Since I was brought up in the 1970's, I can say that my parents would not have tolerated this if they noticed it. In fact when I was in 6th grade, I became sort of a tom boy. For some girls, they do go through this stage and then they outgrow it after puberty hits. I do remember my mother looking at my class photo and stating she did not like it because I looked like a boy. Well, I didn't notice the change until she mentioned it but we did have a family tragedy not long before so that may have caused my appearance to alter a bit. But my point is, when she told me she did not like it and that she wanted me to take better care of my looks, I was then conscious of it and did what she said.

It only took my mother to tell me once that I was not looking "lady-like" and I worked to get back to looking and acting more like a girl. Now, of course I still had hidden attractions to the same sex later on so the appearance is not the deciding factor of homosexual tendencies but it can't be ruled out.

For other parents, if you see your child, for example- your son appearing to act and maybe even dress feminine, then a talk needs to happen. We as parents should not encourage nor ignore possible homosexual tendencies. Firstly, it is damaging to their self image and will cause other issues down the road in life if not addressed immediately. Secondly, we should not be encouraging opposite gender tendencies either. What I mean by this is: girls need to have the attention of a female role model as in how to dress, act and present herself in public. She should have a mother or female in her life that models a strong feminine image. This would be the same for a boy. He needs a father or male figure in his life that reminds him to be masculine, the provider and strong family image in life and his future family's life.

So with that being said, girls should not be roughing it up much with all boys and boys should not be playing with girls' toys or present around all females most of the time. This creates a distortion in their identity and this is one way gender roles are confused and insecurities can develop.

The kind of talk a parent should have with their child if they suspect or witness opposite gender tendencies would be a calm and concerned conversation. One that does not alarm or frighten the child but a one-on-one talk that lets the child know that you are concerned about some things. As Christians, we should do this in the most loving way possible. If the child feels they are being down graded by the parent or humiliated with faith threats, many children with opposite gender tendencies will rebel and carry out possible homosexual desires.

This may be a phase they are going through. But on the other hand, since our society today is so fixated on the gay lifestyle, children at school are dealing with this everyday and we as parents do not know about it. But rest assure that they know much more than we give them credit. So, always be a step ahead and ask questions and have loving conversations of concern result in resolution and support. Build a close relationship with your child as this subject will affects them later in life if not addressed. As Christians, it is our duty to fulfill the will of God through our children by standing up and addressing what could become unpleasing to God. Remember you are the driving force to raising your kids up in the values and morals God would honor. By being that force, you as the parent can create a generation of confident and God-fearing leaders in our society.

We will return with some specifics on this subject soon that go into actual homosexual tendencies and  lifestyles.

If you are struggling with homosexuality and want a way out, don't believe the negative hype. You CAN be delivered from being gay, God will do it for you as you come to Him with a open and humble heart. Please visit us True Ex-Gay Talk page to request an appointment to speak with T. Marie.

Visit Our Friends At AT2W: 

The Internet's Most Revealing Blog Where Eyes are Opened and Souls are Lifted!

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Tags:  opposite gender tendencies, homosexual tendencies, puberty, parents with children homosexual tendencies

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Are You Sure You Will Be Gay for Life?

Are You Sure You Will Be Gay for Life?

Originally published on July 7, 2011


I speak to many people who question ex-homosexuality and if they will live as a homosexual for life. Well, of course some of these people are just dead against being anything opposite of their gay life. I cry a bit on the inside every time I hear this because I was there. I loved God but just didn't see what else there was for me. But for me I was shy. I lived as a lesbian but I didn't want everyone to know it. I didn't want to show affection to the person I was with in public. I truly had some shame in being a homosexual. I know now that  it wasn't really my true life's destiny.

I realized years later that I only wanted to be with a woman because I had decided I was done with men. I was only 22 years old and had a nearly 2 year old son. The relationship with his father was rocky and we ultimately broke up at that time. It was like something came over me and I wanted to try meeting women but  knew the attraction to them was there from a child. I remember feeling like I was seeking revenge on men who had hurt me.

I had a friend who was not gay (go figure) but would go to gay clubs with a women and her friends just to hear the 'house music'. This friend of mine knew I had feelings for women years before as I concealed and fought against them as I dated boys in high school. She was the only woman I could confide in about my feelings who never judged me and I trusted her. Well, long story short, I started going out with them to these clubs and that's when my life as a bisexual woman started and then exclusively living as a lesbian.

I met a few women and really wanted a serious relationship with one of them. I wasn't the player type. That's never been my thing. I was seeking love and I was for sure I'd get it from a woman. But true love never came the way I thought. There were fights and arguments I had never experienced and I never knew women could act like this toward one another. But this is what two broken people do.

Anyway, my dreams of being gay for life seemed strange but I still had these feelings I was dealing with. Ultimately, I lived as a lesbian for 7 years but life was not very good. I was not fulfilled and I was just breathing.

What I am saying is this: In life many of us have same sex attraction and some of us act it out which is homosexuality. We are seeking something that we never had or to fill a big hole in our spirits from possibly childhood abuse, neglect or many others elements. Just when we open our spirits up to seeking relations with the same sex, we think in our minds "This is it. I'm gay for life." But many times this is just a way to medicate the pain we have not dealt with.

For me, I was hurt by my son's father whom I had a long term relationship. In the back of my mind, I knew he was not serious enough for me but I dealt with the lies and cheating because I wanted someone in my life. So when that didn't work out, I needed something, someone to love me and I was sure a woman could do that.  But Satan was setting a trap for me and I fell right in. And trust me, I suffered on the inside for years until I surrendered to God's word.

Many gays and lesbians are broken people with broken spirits seeking love and many times in the wrong places. When we find that homosexuality seems to fulfill our physical desires and makes us think we are spiritually fulfilled, we are instantly fooled by the enemy. But no one ever told us before we dove in that it would only last for a while. No one told us that the same sex can't possibly fulfill us because it is not God's ordination.  The feelings only last for so long and for many gays, it becomes a terror.

No one promised us being gay was for life. We may have wanted it but it was just a feeling not a believing. Being gay is less emotional than some think. Its really purely physical and the emotional part is usually tied into filling up that gaping hole.

So if you are struggling with whether you think being gay is life's destiny for you, look a bit deeper. I guarantee you, something will stick out and make you question it. God's waiting to get you back on track with Him. He did it for me and many others, he surely can do it for anyone who loves Him enough to surrender.

If you are struggling with homosexuality and want a way out, don't believe the negative hype. You CAN be delivered from being gay, God will do it for you as you come to Him with a open and humble heart. Please visit us True Ex-Gay Talk page to request an appointment to speak with T. Marie.

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Would God Create Us Homosexual?

Originally Published on 5/9/2011

Would God Create Us Homosexual?

Many people believe that they were born homosexual. Some say they never remember being attracted to the opposite. Some say they have been attracted to the same sex since they were young or are living in the wrong body.

My input on this subject is simple and biblical. God made us in his image. Here are some scriptures that explain how God intended us to live in the image he created us.

"So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them." - Genesis 1:27

God made us as individual genders: male and female and Genesis 1:27 proves that God wanted this. Every mother in her womb is blessed with a girl or boy. When we are born, whatever gender we are, this is what God expects us to remain. He never intended us to change any part of His creation or live contradictory to male and female union. We all have to remember God created us and we did not create ourselves. Though we live with our bodies and it is ours per say, our bodies ultimately belong to Him. Now, we may grow up with conflicting feelings for a number of reasons we can not pinpoint, but ultimately we have to honor Him as He is the creator of our bodies which is the temple of God.

"For I am fearfully and wonderfully made: Wonderful are thy works; And that my soul knoweth right well." - Psalm 139: 14

God made us wonderfully and perfect in His eyes. So however we are born, we are wonderful works of God and this pleases Him. He designed us just as He wanted us to be and He makes no mistakes.

So to answer this question: No, God would never, ever create any human being homosexual. If "God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female", then there are no mistakes. He is omniscient and he knows everything which means He knows we are born as He intended.

If we grow up to feel we have Same Sex Attraction (SSA) or feeling like we were born in the wrong bodies, this has directly come from some other reasons. It has nothing to do with whom God created us to be which is male or female.The feelings we have for the same sex or confusion about our gender identity, need to be addressed but rest assure God made you just as you were at birth.


If you are struggling with homosexuality and want a way out, don't believe the negative hype. You CAN be delivered from being gay, God will do it for you as you come to Him with a open and humble heart. Please visit us True Ex-Gay Talk page to request an appointment to speak with T. Marie.


Tags: born gay, same sex attraction, homosexuality, god's image, psalm 139:14, genesis 1:27,  created homosexual, created gay, created lesbian.

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What Does A Study Reporting Only 1.4% of Homosexuals in America Mean?

What Does A Study Reporting Only 1.4% of Homosexuals in America Mean?

I read this article about how people should not be deceived about the alarming debates about homosexuals and their fight to change the laws and the way we live life overall. I'm not sure I can agree that we are being deceived.

A new study from the National Center for Health Statistics and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention came out that stated:

"they discovered a much smaller number of "gays, lesbians and homosexuals" than generally reported by the news media. While pop-culture frequently cites the figure of one in 10 (based on 60-year-old, widely discredited conclusions from pioneering sex researcher Alfred Kinsey) the new study finds only 1.4% of the population identifying with same-sex orientation."

I don't think it matters much what the statistics calculate. We all know in our society- in your town and in mine, homosexuality is a growing phenomena all over the United States. We have more school age kids, teens, young adults and others who are coming out and displaying their same sex attraction like never before. Its more than a fad as some say and the enemy is busy trying to destroy all generations alike.

Though I can appreciate studies and statistics, it doesn't seem to do much good when people do not admit they are gay or for those that live on the down low. (Even though I believe less and less individuals are in the closet because homosexuality is becoming so accepted.) Those cases are never calculated in the study which adds to the number they have come up with. To many ex-homosexuals, it surely seems like gays are taking over and we fight even harder to save souls to Christ because we know the struggle and the bondage of the lifestyle.

One thing I can say is, however small percentage the studies come up with, it surely does not decrease our struggle and mission to get as many people delivered from the lifestyle. The small percentage of 1.4 % only tells me that a small community of people are trying to make a huge impact on this country that will affect many of our children if we don't keep fighting and doing God's work.

Homosexuality is Satan's territory along with other sins. He thinks he can take the world over but God has the last say in that.


If you are struggling with homosexuality and want a way out, don't believe the negative hype. You CAN be delivered from being gay, God will do it for you as you come to Him with a open and humble heart. Please visit us True Ex-Gay Talk page to request an appointment to speak with T. Marie.

Visit Our Friends At AT2W: 

The Internet's Most Revealing Blog Where Eyes are Opened and Souls are Lifted!

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Tags: Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, gay Americans, gay community, homosexuals, National Center for Health Statistics, same-sex attraction, sexual orientation

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More People are 'Coming Out' But Many Have Been 'Called Out ' of Homosexuality

More People are 'Coming Out' But Many Have Been 'Called Out' of Homosexuality

The news as been filled with people from all walks of life announcing that they are coming 'out of the closet'. We've heard many of them from gospel singer DeJuaii Pace, CNN anchor Don Lemon to sports executives and others. Its a sad day and age that everyone feels the need to 'come out' and let the world know what their sexual preference is.

I remember before I was delivered from homosexuality nearly 12 years ago, it was not about letting the world know what I was. I was disillusioned into thinking the same sex could fulfill something I was missing. But I was wrong. I think many people today that are coming out are more concerned with getting attention than finding love which can't be fulfilled as a homosexual. It may seem satisfying for a while but most people become increasingly depressed and dissatisfied because acting on same sex attraction does not solve their underlying problems.

There are underlying issues that many persons with same sex attraction or homosexuals are not dealing with from their childhood, family life, developmental problems, social problems and many others. So, instead of dealing with past or present emotional pain, the same sex attraction appears to be the focus of their life and identity.

But I have to say that ever since President Obama lifted the ban or repealed the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" military policy and his public interest in gay marriage, we have seen more and more people 'coming out of the closet' than ever before. More states are passing into law the legalization of gay marriages and civil unions for same sex partners along with the passing of bills for homosexual studies in public schools.

Even with all of this, which is disheartening for an ex-gays or ex-lesbians, there are many people being 'called out' of the homosexual lifestyle. Like myself, there are several individuals who have accepted Christ and turned their lives around and walked away from homosexual lifestyles. Its truly a blessing to see so many people being 'called out', as ex-lesbian Janet Boynes, would call it. Many ex- homosexuals would be myself, T. Marie Phillips, author and minister Janet Boynes, Pastor D.L. Foster, Charlene Cothran, and many others.

When I gave my life to Christ over a decade ago, I never imaged that all of the gay rights and public images of homosexuality would have reached a point to it being headline news everyday. I finally answered my Father's call to not let my deliverance from homosexuality be' my secret' but share my life and experiences of staying on the path of righteousness after leaving the lifestyle.

So I want to encourage anyone that is struggling with same sex attraction or homosexuality and want out, to not be deterred nor discouraged by the public display of acceptance for gays you may see everyday in the news. The bible spoke about how homosexuality among other things will run rampant on earth and this is the time. But if people today can give their lives to Christ in the midst of this generation as others have many years before, anyone can. It doesn't matter how long you've lived this way, but as long as you make a decision to for change now. God loves you and He wants to save you from a lifestyle that is destructive and displeasing to Him.

I was homeless and lost when I finally came to Jesus and if I can it and some many others can do it, then anyone can.

If you need assistance on getting on the road to living your life without homosexuality and living for Christ, please go to my Contact page.

If you are struggling with homosexuality and want a way out, don't believe the negative hype. You CAN be delivered from being gay, God will do it for you as you come to Him with a open and humble heart. Please visit us True Ex-Gay Talk page to request an appointment to speak with T. Marie.

Visit Our Friends At AT2W: 

The Internet's Most Revealing Blog Where Eyes are Opened and Souls are Lifted!

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Tags: born gay, same sex attraction, homosexuality, god's image, psalm 139:14, genesis 1:27,  created homosexual, created gay, created lesbian, ex gay gods way, true ex gay talk, t.marie, dissolve homosexuality, out of homosexuality, homosexual marriages, homosexual rights, gay marriages, gay rights, ex gay talk, gay christians, christian gays, gay and christian, coming out, coming out of closet, called out of homosexuality

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