Should Parents Discourage Opposite Gender Tendencies from Their Children?

Should Parents Discourage  Opposite Gender Tendencies from Their Children?

Originally posted on May 26, 2011


There are many families that deal with this issue and it is a real issue that many do not know how to handle. Since I was brought up in the 1970's, I can say that my parents would not have tolerated this if they noticed it. In fact when I was in 6th grade, I became sort of a tom boy. For some girls, they do go through this stage and then they outgrow it after puberty hits. I do remember my mother looking at my class photo and stating she did not like it because I looked like a boy. Well, I didn't notice the change until she mentioned it but we did have a family tragedy not long before so that may have caused my appearance to alter a bit. But my point is, when she told me she did not like it and that she wanted me to take better care of my looks, I was then conscious of it and did what she said.

It only took my mother to tell me once that I was not looking "lady-like" and I worked to get back to looking and acting more like a girl. Now, of course I still had hidden attractions to the same sex later on so the appearance is not the deciding factor of homosexual tendencies but it can't be ruled out.

For other parents, if you see your child, for example- your son appearing to act and maybe even dress feminine, then a talk needs to happen. We as parents should not encourage nor ignore possible homosexual tendencies. Firstly, it is damaging to their self image and will cause other issues down the road in life if not addressed immediately. Secondly, we should not be encouraging opposite gender tendencies either. What I mean by this is: girls need to have the attention of a female role model as in how to dress, act and present herself in public. She should have a mother or female in her life that models a strong feminine image. This would be the same for a boy. He needs a father or male figure in his life that reminds him to be masculine, the provider and strong family image in life and his future family's life.

So with that being said, girls should not be roughing it up much with all boys and boys should not be playing with girls' toys or present around all females most of the time. This creates a distortion in their identity and this is one way gender roles are confused and insecurities can develop.

The kind of talk a parent should have with their child if they suspect or witness opposite gender tendencies would be a calm and concerned conversation. One that does not alarm or frighten the child but a one-on-one talk that lets the child know that you are concerned about some things. As Christians, we should do this in the most loving way possible. If the child feels they are being down graded by the parent or humiliated with faith threats, many children with opposite gender tendencies will rebel and carry out possible homosexual desires.

This may be a phase they are going through. But on the other hand, since our society today is so fixated on the gay lifestyle, children at school are dealing with this everyday and we as parents do not know about it. But rest assure that they know much more than we give them credit. So, always be a step ahead and ask questions and have loving conversations of concern result in resolution and support. Build a close relationship with your child as this subject will affects them later in life if not addressed. As Christians, it is our duty to fulfill the will of God through our children by standing up and addressing what could become unpleasing to God. Remember you are the driving force to raising your kids up in the values and morals God would honor. By being that force, you as the parent can create a generation of confident and God-fearing leaders in our society.

We will return with some specifics on this subject soon that go into actual homosexual tendencies and  lifestyles.

If you are struggling with homosexuality and want a way out, don't believe the negative hype. You CAN be delivered from being gay, God will do it for you as you come to Him with a open and humble heart. Please visit us True Ex-Gay Talk page to request an appointment to speak with T. Marie.

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Tags:  opposite gender tendencies, homosexual tendencies, puberty, parents with children homosexual tendencies