How Will I Handle My Next Visit to See My Mother

How Will I Handle My Next Visit to See My Mother

It is really amazing how God listens to our prayers and our thoughts. It's so easy to think when we want or need something, He does not hear us, does not want us to have it or does not respond at all when we pray. But we all need to know that for whatever we ask Him in prayer He hears it. What He really responds to (and not limited to) is the pureness of our hearts. Remember He knows our hearts completely, and wants to bless us in every way. 

Now I wanted to set the tone for this post because in the past 1 1/2 years, I have been hearing God speak to me and I have answered Him. I started seeking more purpose in my life and would ask Him to help me be what He wanted me to be. You see, sometimes we think we know what's best for us. This can range from family, career and almost anything. We go after things that God allows but is not really our purpose in life. So, I started wanting to hear more of Him because not all of my choices were right for me in life. Even after being delivered, this did not change my whole life completely. It only helped me get on the right track and face the many other issues I needed to confront. 

I know I am probably rambling on and I some of you know this about me (LOL), but really I have a point in this and will get to the subject at hand.

So, I have asked God in prayer to lead and guide me the way in which I should go in His eyes, not mine. I remember in 2010, he started shifting me and business (not this ministry) and I started receiving more purpose in my life by just accepting the call. My business partner and I wanted to do more for God in the work we do so when she heard God speak about changing things, I agreed because I felt it too but did not know exactly how to. 

Then I personally sought God to deal with family issues of the past. As you may know, I did not have the best relationship with my mother growing up and for some reason God has been dealing with me on this issue more so in the past 2 years. I have prayed about it and He has been moving me in a certain direction. I made up in my mind that I would face all of my issues. This included whatever I needed to with my mother. Due to my desire to break any generational curses of family dysfunctionality, I started facing my emotions about my mother and things I needed to discuss with her. Now to make a long story short, I literally moved to a state to be closer to my mother yet I received some flack for it. Though I was asked to do so, so we could be closer, she did not respond in the same matter as she originally did. I'll admit that that was hurting.

Anyway, God has allowed me to go through an array of feelings about this and I am determined to face them, deal with them and move on. I have too much work for God to be hindered my anything or anyone. Again, I need to say: I am alright with the fact that my mother and I may never be close as I want but I love and honor her. Ultimately, I only want to deal with my issues and be able to be spiritually prosperous and sound in my walk with God. That is truly my only purpose.

So, next month I plan to visit her and wanted to start dealing with how it may go as far as the visit is concerned. I know I will speak with her about some things because I just need to address them but this time around I will make sure to leave more secure and at peace. I have always had a mind to conquer whatever she thought I could not handle but this time, its really all about me. I want to be closer to God and do His Will and by just hearing Him in this, I will concentrate on what He wants out of this and not some selfish image building strategy. 

I wanted to share this because when I visit my mother soon, I will face things that I know some of you may understand.Things like betrayal, trust and childhood abuse mentally or physically are what some of have had to deal with.

I only wanted to share this to maybe enlightened someone dealing the same issues. Maybe you just want to clear the air on some things with your parents or loved one. Maybe that is all you need to move forward. Well, I believe the healing starts when we confront issues like this and God will be there as long as we pray for guidance.

What will you seek God to face in your life?