Sunday, February 5, 2012

How Homelessness and Homosexuality Gave Me a Willing Heart To Help Others

How Homelessness and Homosexuality Gave Me a Willing Heart To Help Others

I have always had a heart for people in general but in this instance, I did not know what God was doing in my life. I remember when I was homeless back in 1998, I was blessed to have a car and a job. It's kind of ironic but I cared more about the homeless sleeping in the park and under a cardboard box than I did my own life's state. I remember driving by Lake Merritt in Oakland, Ca. and I saw a man and women sitting on a park bench. It was raining 'cats and dogs; out there and I was getting sick to my stomach seeing them suffer through it. I  was with my now best friend (the former girlfriend whom I accepted Jesus into my life with) and we felt so bad that we at least had a car to sleep in but they were going to have to weather through the rainy storm. 

I remember it like it was yesterday.  We drove to a McDonald's restaurant nearby and bought them something to eat. As it may be hard to believe, we actually went through some of our things in the car to give to them. We were actually living out of our car.  We found both umbrellas and a watch I had been holding onto for years that, for some reason seemed to give me comfort. I gave up that comfort for someone in the same living situation as myself but worse off.

I’ll never forget how we walked up to the man and woman seated on the bench, as they held up one half broken umbrella to cover themselves. When they saw our faces, they seemed perplexed yet thrilled to see us hand them food and the umbrellas we had. I remember handing the older woman my watch and she smiled with a twinkle in her eye in the midst of the dark sky. I felt so warm inside yet hurt that I could not do more even in my situation. They both kept saying thank you and we replied with ‘take care’ and ‘we love you’ and ‘keep the faith’. I even prayed and cried for them from time to time.

You can imagine how my heart would nearly stop every time I drove by the park, hoping to see them again and give them what I could at the time. Unfortunately, I never saw them again and it’s been over 13 years and I still think of them.

This is why I do what I do. I support the homeless and I try and support those struggling in their spirits. I know now God did not want me to be that famous artist I had always dreamed of being, but to work for His kingdom. 

This story may seem like it has nothing to do with the homosexual lifestyle but it made a big difference in the coming years for me. While I was living as a homosexual and homeless at the time, God was showing me things I would have never seen before. It worked through me and whom I call my “God given sister” at those critical moments having to live in a car or motels. I did not know it then but he was setting me up for ministry and I would have never, ever went this route.

I try and explain to people that just because I grew up United Methodist and attended Catholic school, did not make me a Christian. We never spoke about God in our home growing up. I guess my parents, in some ways, thought school would teach me what I needed to know. (I’ll go into that on another post). But what I did not know, God was working in me even as a child. He brought me to this point and who would have imagined? 

So I shared this because, I think we don’t always know what we are destined to be or do. You may see yourself as a homosexual, bisexual, transgender now but what will God do in your life? What is He setting your up for that you may not realize at this time? If you have left an alternative lifestyle, you may not know what your future will bring through a relationship Jesus Christ. 

What I like to tell people is: When you pray, pray for wisdom, guidance and to do God’s will. When I started asking God to do as He will with my life, He opened up doors I never would have imagined.  I started to see life with my eyes open for the first time and I had true purpose. I still see my life as pretty simple but I my spirit is filled with His love.

What can God do for you even during your struggles? If you have walked away from homosexuality or other alternative lifestyles, what are your plans now? You may have no idea but I promise you, if you pray for wisdom, guidance and to do His will, He will truly bless you like you never seen before.  The real key to breaking these desires and strongholds, is wanting to change but most importantly, changing to PLEASE HIM. All He wants is your willing heart and He will do the rest. Just when you think its too difficult, giving it over to Him will prove He will fight your battles. It was never yours in the first place.

By doing so, you’ll be filled with joy, happiness, purpose and a yearning drive to please Him in all you do.

God bless!


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