How Will I Handle My Next Visit to See My Mother

How Will I Handle My Next Visit to See My Mother

It is really amazing how God listens to our prayers and our thoughts. It's so easy to think when we want or need something, He does not hear us, does not want us to have it or does not respond at all when we pray. But we all need to know that for whatever we ask Him in prayer He hears it. What He really responds to (and not limited to) is the pureness of our hearts. Remember He knows our hearts completely, and wants to bless us in every way. 

Now I wanted to set the tone for this post because in the past 1 1/2 years, I have been hearing God speak to me and I have answered Him. I started seeking more purpose in my life and would ask Him to help me be what He wanted me to be. You see, sometimes we think we know what's best for us. This can range from family, career and almost anything. We go after things that God allows but is not really our purpose in life. So, I started wanting to hear more of Him because not all of my choices were right for me in life. Even after being delivered, this did not change my whole life completely. It only helped me get on the right track and face the many other issues I needed to confront. 

I know I am probably rambling on and I some of you know this about me (LOL), but really I have a point in this and will get to the subject at hand.

So, I have asked God in prayer to lead and guide me the way in which I should go in His eyes, not mine. I remember in 2010, he started shifting me and business (not this ministry) and I started receiving more purpose in my life by just accepting the call. My business partner and I wanted to do more for God in the work we do so when she heard God speak about changing things, I agreed because I felt it too but did not know exactly how to. 

Then I personally sought God to deal with family issues of the past. As you may know, I did not have the best relationship with my mother growing up and for some reason God has been dealing with me on this issue more so in the past 2 years. I have prayed about it and He has been moving me in a certain direction. I made up in my mind that I would face all of my issues. This included whatever I needed to with my mother. Due to my desire to break any generational curses of family dysfunctionality, I started facing my emotions about my mother and things I needed to discuss with her. Now to make a long story short, I literally moved to a state to be closer to my mother yet I received some flack for it. Though I was asked to do so, so we could be closer, she did not respond in the same matter as she originally did. I'll admit that that was hurting.

Anyway, God has allowed me to go through an array of feelings about this and I am determined to face them, deal with them and move on. I have too much work for God to be hindered my anything or anyone. Again, I need to say: I am alright with the fact that my mother and I may never be close as I want but I love and honor her. Ultimately, I only want to deal with my issues and be able to be spiritually prosperous and sound in my walk with God. That is truly my only purpose.

So, next month I plan to visit her and wanted to start dealing with how it may go as far as the visit is concerned. I know I will speak with her about some things because I just need to address them but this time around I will make sure to leave more secure and at peace. I have always had a mind to conquer whatever she thought I could not handle but this time, its really all about me. I want to be closer to God and do His Will and by just hearing Him in this, I will concentrate on what He wants out of this and not some selfish image building strategy. 

I wanted to share this because when I visit my mother soon, I will face things that I know some of you may understand.Things like betrayal, trust and childhood abuse mentally or physically are what some of have had to deal with.

I only wanted to share this to maybe enlightened someone dealing the same issues. Maybe you just want to clear the air on some things with your parents or loved one. Maybe that is all you need to move forward. Well, I believe the healing starts when we confront issues like this and God will be there as long as we pray for guidance.

What will you seek God to face in your life?

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When You Face Life's Issues, What Do You Do with The Aftermath of Stress?

When You Face Life's Issues, What Do You Do with The Aftermath of Stress?

 I wanted to address this because as we are working on our spirits and seeking God, much of the issues that we are addressing now leave an aftermath of hurt feelings, depression, anxiety and other emotions.

So, I wanted to share with you some ways I deal with the stress of digging into my past and confronting some of the deepest issues of my life. But even though I find it stressful and emotionally taxing, I truly believe confronting them is the best way to get close to God. He will bless us and give us true peace by dealing with our past and present issues. 

Just to give you some background, I was then, the expert at not dealing with issues. When my father had is mental breakdown, I was told to 'just deal' with it and move on. All through my childhood, I was never taught to confront issues and I assume this is because my family did not face issues themselves. We did not talk or discuss anything and my parents essentially handled everything and kept my brother and I naive and clueless. I am sure many people have been through this too, so this is why it is important to manage the stress of confronting issues. 

I'll admit I still deal with family issues, and all I want to do is confront them, understand them, put them to rest and live my life. I do feel most people desire this as well.

If you don't mind me taking you through what I do to keep the anxiety and stress down while I'm living to please Christ, I think it would be helpful for you too. Actually, its a lifestyle change.

When you are starting to deal with unresolved issues or issues that seem to need your attention now in life, its always best to seek God in prayer. This is the best medicine or remedy ever. Seeking His face will relieve you of most of your stress and I have learned that my suggestions below will help God see us as good stewards over our bodies which is the temple of God.

1) We can start by watching our diets. By making sure you minimize your intact of sugar, high calorie fatty foods and salt, your brain can handle the added stress of the problems you are facing. In addition, make sure to eat fruits and vegetables and drink plenty of water. I don't eat red meat but once every few months but I do eat chicken, fish and turkey. I drink water all day and maybe a soda once a week.

2) If you try and do some kind of exercise like walking the neighborhood or working out at least 4 times a week for 30 minutes to an hour, this really relieves the stress. I try to walk and/or workout 4 times a week. I also do deep breathing exercises daily. Taking deep breaths in and holding it for 7 seconds and repeating it 10 times, truly takes the stress and tightness from your head and breathes more oxygen through your brain. It is a true stress reliever.

3) If you don't already, please take a multiple vitamin like a One A Day for men or women. Its very important that we get our daily vitamins because food is not enough. Also, if you don't have much energy during the day, a multi vitamin is a great energy and mood enhancer. Not everyone believes in vitamins, but trust me they work. I'm 43 years old with no existing health issues. It's kind of nice being mistaken for my son's sister! (Sometimes)

Believe it or not, I have been taking an array of vitamins and herbs on a daily basis for nearly 15 years. After my grandmother passed, I was on a mission to find a vitamin or herb cure for heart attacks. I found a combination of them that I wished I could have given her. But I became intrigued by health food so I self taught myself about nutrition. I even managed a few nutrition stores in the past and was truly hooked! (If you want to know what a vitamin or herb supplement is good for, contact me). Seriously, I used to have people thanking me for relieving them of all kinds of ailments.

So, that brings us to the next way to relieve stress while dealing with life's issues and struggles.

4) Drink a herbal tea at least once a day. First of all, I suggest drink green tea because it is an antioxidant that fights against free radicals which are agents that cause or promote sickness and diseases. If you want to fight against ever having cancer, start drinking green tea. It's also an energy booster.

Also, to wind down my day, I drink chamomile tea. Chamomile is a calming herb that relaxes your mind and your body and you sleep well too. It helps take away the stress of the day or if you are just particularly stressed in general, try chamomile tea. Now, I only drink one cup every couple of days because for me, it gets me too relaxed and I sleep longer than expected. So, please try it out on a evening when you are staying home and off from work or school the next day. Some people may take a double bag in their tea cup; but don't call me saying you missed work because you didn't wake up on time!  LOL!! It depends on the person but it is all safe and natural. I have been drinking it for years.

Hint: If you want to reduce gray hair from growing, drink chamomile tea.

5) Lastly, sometimes it is just time to 'get out of dodge'. If you haven't heard of that term, sorry I'm old school. LOL! Anyway, you have to take time out for yourself. Take a long drive, spend the afternoon alone and do some things to relax and pamper yourself. It's essential we do this from time to time to... everyone say: RELIEVE MY STRESS. That's right. I recently just took off for the weekend because the stress was 'upon me' and I believe in 'doing me' sometimes. Don't let life keep you from taking care of yourself. It's really not that serious nor worth your physical and mental health.

There is probably more I could suggest but that is the jest of it. I didn't mean to get on the health tip and guide you like your parent but I had to discipline myself by using these methods as much as possible because life for me as well as you can be very, very stressful. Why go through all of the stress and ultimately shorten our lives because we did not know what we could do to relieve the pressures.

I hope this helps you and I wanted to also share this video with you of a 74 year old woman who is more fit than any 20 year old I've seen. She has transformed her body and I am sure she has added at least another 40-50 years to her life. She also cured her stress and anxiety by wanting to be healthy. When the bible says God promises us 120 years, she lady has proven you can be saved and fit.

She's a true role model.

God bless!

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Can You Confront Childhood Pain From the Past For Healing Today?

 

 Can You Confront Childhood Pain From the Past For Healing Today?

I have just recently confronted some past family issues. I have always been very transparent with my readers and that I feel is the key to allowing others to do the same. I've learned over the years that sharing our hurts, pains and disappointments with others, not only helps someone else but it helps the confessor.

I am finding myself having to deal with an issue I promised myself I would not ignore but face the best way possible.

Growing up in a middle class family household in California, was the life my family led for all to see. My parents had good jobs and my brother and I attended Catholic schools. To the average person, people thought we were the ideal family. I remember being teased a lot because my peers thought I had too much. But they didn't know the truth behind all they thought glittered was not gold.

You see, I had my grandmother's spirit. My father's mother was a simple and warm spirited woman. She would not be moved by fancy things and money. Her love was all everyone ever wanted because it was priceless. She and I favored in resemblance and I was inclined to think I was her favorite grandchild over 20 others. Her spirit today lives on in me because she showed me love I was getting at home.

So as you can see, this lifestyle people thought I had, was not me. All of it was a facade. Beneath the well dressed and well mannered children, my brother and I suffered greatly within a dysfunctional family. I always knew my parents worked hard to give us a better life and that they loved us but there were problems that we could have never imaged would happen. I won't get into everything I went through because I will save it for my book one day but if you have read my testimony, you'd know that both of my parents were unfaithful to one another and my father suffered a nervous breakdown that resulted in a murder attempt against my brother and I.

The unfaithful part in my parents marriage is what I am dealing with even today. It's not as if I can't get over what I saw growing up but it is the pain of now knowing I could have not been my father's child. There was no doubt on my end because my mother never let me forget I resembled 'his side of the family'. The issue today is after speaking with my father, he confided in me that not only was my brother a questionable child but I, their first born was too. This was a huge blow to me. Unfortunately, everyone around us questioned whether my younger brother was the 'milkman's baby' or not. I never understood that exactly growing up, except that the black family made it their business to equate lighter skin complexions with other races of people. All I can remember is knowing my mother was pregnant with my brother when I was six and she and I would drive to 'the city' (San Francisco) and visit a man in his garage while his wife was in church. So, even though we did not speak about it, she was creeping and tagged me along with her with child in belly.

But just recently, when I asked my father about the still born child she told me she had before me, he stated he did not know anything about that. He only told me that I was a questionable child too. This I never knew nor fathomed the thought that I was not supposed to be my father's child. It clearly explains partly why she had a distant kind of motherly love and criticized me so. It became clear then why we always seemed to have a wedge between our relationship as mother and daughter. It also explains why my father's side of the family and my mother seemed to despise one another. I know now they knew she was creeping for a long, long time which ultimately resulted in my father's infidelity as well.

Today I am only sharing this because the person I want to talk to about this is not open to discuss it. My mother will not discuss her past indiscretions with me even though many things other than this caused my insecurities and vulnerabilities in life. As a grown woman with an adult son, I have had to deal with my issues like anyone else. But as we all get older, we sometimes want to confront and deal with even really old family issues. It's all about healing and we should never stop wanting to feel whole and allowing God to move us forward in life.

Fortunately, I realize that healing is my road to more peace and contentment with my Lord Jesus Christ. He wants me to confront my issues from the past so I can do a better work for Him and His kingdom. If I hold onto guilt, pain and hurt, then I am only blocking my blessing as well as blocking someone else to blessed through my life or story. Even though I am open to talk about this with my mother one day, it is o.k. if we never discuss it. I know today that her indiscretions before or after I was born was not my problem. I don't own it. It was her issues and I am quite sure as a saved woman today, she has suffered from her decisions just as I have from my own life. I hold no contentment against her because I do honor her as my mother. God only requires me to love my parents and allow Him to heal me by at least confessing what has hurt me from the past.

Sometimes we don't want to go down that old and hurtful path from childhood because it brings up too much past pain but we have to admit that keeping it in and never dealing with it, is the reason why we may be dealing with same sex attraction and homosexual feelings or other unresolved issues. I have been determined throughout the years to face and confront my issues. I was taught by my mother to stand and move on and almost encouraged not to deal with my feelings. Well, those days are long gone and though I know she may have meant well then, it has always been my best practice to work out my emotions with God's help.

Thanks for allowing me to share some really personal things in my life. I desire to share it because I want to see others confront their issues and not go to the grave, so to speak, with unresolved pain that God can heal us from.

Is there some issues you need to confront? Can you believe that God will give you the strength to move on stronger, better and more faith filled than ever?

"I can do ALL things are through him who strengthens me"-(Philippians 4:13)

God bless!

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